Testheron of the Bear Clan

Testheron of the Bear Clan is a mighty warrior of the frozen steppes of The Ride. He was created by Bwh in 1999 -- and has been the stuff of legend ever since.

Description
An impossibly tall human of Nar descent, with curly blond hair that spills down to his shoulders. Tes may or may not be sporting a beard at any given time, depending upon whether or not he can find a sharp axe. Despite his obvious predilection to fighting, he shies away from heavy armor ... and whatever he is wearing is rusty and/or smells of reindeer guts. This is more than compensated for by the staggeringly vast two-handed maul he totes on his shoulders.

Personality
At first, second and third glance, Testheron is a mighty warrior with the brains of a gnat. This analysis holds up under closer scrutiny as well. But he is a well-meaning gnat: someone who appreciates the arts of war under Tempus and values camaraderie (even if he can't spell it).

Tes's vocabulary, stunted by his intellectual inhibitions, is limited to one-syllable words and rudimentary sentences. He rarely, if ever, uses a subject for sentences, preferring to use the command form to indicate the immediacy of his needs (e.g., "MEAT!!!" means "(you) (please) (bring me) MEAT (right away) (or I'll hurt you)!!!").

Born Under a High Sun
The year is 1352 DR. In the frozen steppe known as The Ride, in a tent made of tanned reindeer hide, a midwife delivered a child with a special mark upon his ankle. Testheron of the Bear Clan was not that child. Instead, he was the child in the next tent over: born under a High Sun, but cast aside as irrelevant to prophecy. His father's cruel hand, furious at being thwarted by a prophecy that could have made him Chief of the Clan, left the boy permanently soft in the head.

Despite his mental handicaps, Tes was immediately recognized as being far stronger, taller and faster than any child his age. Indeed, he had reached what most would consider a man's growth at thirteen ... and continued to grow from there. Clearly, people whispered, this child was descended of Gods, and not of men. His father grew all the more furious and drove the boy from his tent entirely, forcing him to survive in the wilderness for weeks at a time.

This proved little threat to Testheron's health. When one can run down reindeer from five hundred paces, one does not worry about the lack of a bow. One simply snaps the creature's neck and uses its hide for warmth in the frozen steppes. The Ride is a hostile place, but Testheron survived it admirably ... bringing back his spare food and wealth for the Clan when he could.

The rest of the Bear Clan tolerated Tes's odd behaviour ... mostly because he proved an invaluable scout. During a Zhentarim incursion in 1362 DR, he killed his first human: a Zhent scout sent to gather numbers on the Bear Clan. He brought the broken body directly into the Chieftain's tent, where the favored child was sleeping, and warned of the incoming threat: "MEN HURT SOON!" The Clan rose up and destroyed the invaders before the dawn had come.

Negotiations with other clans were also impacted by Testheron's presence. A truthful being who could never conceive of dishonesty, Tes has killed men for attempting to barter ... which has led to lean winters for the Clan as a whole. And while Tes was told of his wrong and attempted to make amends, the Clansfolk could no longer handle it ... and so they sent him forth into the world.

At first, Testheron amused himself by sacking Zhentarim caravans on their way to the mines in the Dragonspine Mountains. Soon, though, he began to hunt for stronger prey ... and this led him off the frozen steppes of his homeland.

Hammer and Horse
Some of this information remains to be revealed.

In a small valley, nestled between two of the southern mountains of the Ride, lies a small village. Testheron had often seen it from afar, but dared not approach it, for the men who lived there dragged metal across the land and performed strange rites in order to grow non-meat food. Still, he knew that they had mighty horses there ... armed with skins, meat and silver for trade, he demanded their best horse.

Tes is not known for subtlely.

After clubbing a few would-be brawlers with his massive hamfists, he was put into contact with one Gildas Alexandre, a strangely charming fellow who wrapped his body extensively in metal. The two measured each other warily ... but even Tes knew enough not to smash this man. A hard bargain was driven, but in the end, Tes acquired Beef, the stallion that remains his steed to this day.

Smashing the Thar
Thar is a moor to the east of the Ride. It is a land of warring semi-human tribes, vast clans of ogres and thousands of monsters. The Tortured Lands, to the north, are even more harsh, filled with lava flows and beasts alien to other parts of Faerun. Tes took it upon himself to slay every monster he encountered. He learned that manticore meat tastes poor, that neither lava nor marshwater is good for drinking, that ogres are big and stupid, that giants are larger and stupider, and that dragons should be avoided, especially if they start talking crazy. His life of war was dangerous, and his body still carries the scars ... but he emerged bearing great wealth in his bag of holding.

It took quite a while for Tes to figure out why his bag of holding was spitting out new items, but he eventually came to the realization that he would need to unload these meats and skins.

He then travelled south and discovered the Moonsea region. Strange was this place of little warring humans who covered their bodies in pretty steel. They seemed so angry all the time. He went to one of these towns, a place known as Phlan, and demanded that they give him all the beer in the city. At first, the guards laughed ... until the mighty barbarian unslung his hammer and knocked down the portcullis with a single rining blow! The Third Watch attacked ... and found itself overcome by Testheron's amazing battle prowess. He did not harm them (too much), but instead reiterated his want of BREAD!, MEAT! and BEER!.

A Time Of Bread and Meat
When the Watch realized that Testheron was carrying goods for trade, they explained that he could give certain people these things in exchange for small pieces of metal, which could then be used to acquire beer. Tes thought this absurd, but he knew these Clans did things more different from others. He found himself very poor at bartering ... but excellent at reading other people; rather than watching the "money," he watched the eyes of the merchants. Three broken noses later, merchants stopped haggling and gave him a good rate of trade.

The local thieves' guild, The Welcomers, also paid Testheron a visit and attempted to liberate him of his coinpouch. Sensing something was amiss, Tes's hammer flew forward and sent the head of a Welcomer flying into an alleyway. They learned to give him a wide berth.

Tes became a popular, if somewhat notorious, fixture in the city of Phlan - known as much for his gregarious nature and simple-minded honesty as his copious beer-drinking. He was less popular amongst the city guard, where he was known as a public nuisance. He even had his own holding cell. Still, no one ever pressed charges, and Captain Gildas Alexandre knew him to be an honorable man.

The barbarian traveled between Phlan, the Ride, the Tortured Lands and Thar to kill monsters and gather supplies for his new "tribe" in Phlan. Problems arose, though, when Tes repeatedly violated the treaty between the city of Phlan and the ogre tribes of the Thar.

The Art of the Supersmash
The answer to the political question came through Percy Wickershins, who helped Tes enter a tournament in the city of Starmantle. Despite rough competition from Mot Knoxen and a host of fighters and rogues, Tes advanced to the semifinals, where he was eliminated by eventual winner Desmond Taragon. Still, Tes won the hearts of the crowd, single-handedly smashing giants and bull-rushing Desmond right off a platform into a pool of acid.

Coordinating with Percy (and later, Hedjtep Kanut), Tes made the official move to Starmantle. He bade his goodbyes to Gildas and Tesh Warnell -- and while their jobs were made far easier by Tes's departure, it cast a pallor over the city, for Tes was regarded with a smile, and his roars of "BREAD!" and "MEAT!" would no longer be heard across the city districts.

Present Day
Testheron officially moved to Starmantle in Mirtul of 1378. He has taken up residence at an inn called The Steel Reserve and has quickly established a reputation for himself. He is, with Percy's help, setting up contacts and contracts with the coliseum proprietors in order to become a full-time combatant.

While he enjoys the warmth and comfort of city life, he knows it will make him soft ... soft like merchants. Soft like cityfolk. Soft like Zhentarim. So he and Beef gladly charge out the western gate, away from the city and directly into the jaws of mortal danger.

The End: 1385 DR
Testheron's run at the Starmantle Coliseum brought him fame, fortune and more beer than he could readily handle. Unfortunately, it also brought him responsibility, and his exit from this world would prove to be one that any survivor would never forget.

As the Spellplague broke through into the city of Starmantle, an enormous blue fire materialized in the Coliseum. It shone furiously, interrupting the games ... but was impervious to magic and physical attacks. Spectators immediately ran to fetch Testheron from his room at the Steel Reserve, knowing full well that their Champion could destroy the magical interloper.

Testheron, his enormous maul slung over one shoulder, strode onto the dirt floor of the Coliseum to the cheers of thousands. He took a look at the blue fire, laughed heartily ... and then swung his maul at the fire with all of his Supersmashing might.

Starmantle was destroyed in 1385 DR, consumed by a vortex of magical blue fire which whorls and rages even to this day. The few survivors of the city took their money and their story to Westgate, where the legend of Testheron lives on. A statue in his honor was commissioned in 1401 DR, inside the Westgate Coliseum, and stories are told of his might and his prowess.

It is said, though, that he will return again one day, in the form of a child born under a high sun ...

Testheron As An NPC
Tes is, ultimately, a creature of the wilderness and tends not to venture too close to civilization unless he desperately needs food, drink or new gear. Despite his love for the wilderness, once in a city he is prone to making a nuisance of himself until he can be forced out. --as with the Tarrasque, though, this is easier said than done.

Above all things, Tes is a genuinely gentle and caring individual. He shares his bread and meat, when he can, and does so without thinking. Cross him, though, and he is quick to anger -- his maul often enters someone else's brain before thought enters his.

Agenda and Goals
Humor. Playing Tes isn't a mental stretch; he's been added into the campaign setting as flavor. Ostensibly, he's Bwh's back-up character, but he can be used by anyone in need of a spare, or by a DM who needs to interject humor and/or a total catastrophe into an environment.

Steed
Testheron's horse, Beef, is a well-trained heavy warhorse. A betting man wouldn't be sure which of the two of them was the smarter; but both are exceptionally reckless and daring, so the point may be moot.

Beef's Equipment:
 * Studded Leather Barding
 * Military Saddle
 * Bit and Bridle
 * Saddlebags
 * Testheron's Bag of Holding (II), as above)